Cracks on the wall

All the terms have failed
All my heads are tails
All i have known was wrong
All i had was gone

i thought i heard him scream
i thought i knew why
i'm loosing grounds and gaining speed...
lost it all in my sleep
dried his patience till its tip
from 5 ft 6 to six foots deep
so i let him be,
and he set me free
now i live in my mind
and stay on the edge
its beautiful here
and beautiful there

i knew the truth
and could make it rhyme
the words where worthless
and a waste of time

am not totally gone,
just on the edge,
its safe because its not,
i live for all its worth.

am confused in whats true or false
but i never stopped writing it
facts in  fiction, vision or dream
wont stop still my heart caves in.


lost?
wont know until i cant find my way
wont care because there's less to pay
wont ask because there are all the same
the heads the tails my bags of shame

Back from the end
the lingering fingers of desire
hav'en thirsted real sweetness..
its juice still lingers
am i impressed?..no!
do i want to go back? ...yes!
pointless struggle
tis all a waste of time

there is no telling
the darkness of your mind
there is not telling of
pleasures of twos and threes
no castles of trust bought
tis all a waste of time

the song has been sang
the misery was over
and now it beckons again
the start of all things.
am i impressed ...no
do i want to go back ...yes.

from the sneeze to the heat stroke
there was love ,scorn and love again
from no shoes to the fallen bucket
there is light, dark and light again

and then it remains true
there is now no secrete,
we were empty and void
u could not believe me
because in the end all in all
we see a wasted land
in the golden framed picture
and we leave by and by
until the horn is blown
am i impressed..no
do i want to go back ...yes

The break up

And I opened my eyes one lid after the other in unconscious rhythm of weakness from the malaria and a sudden pain that has just developed down my spine, to my cell phone ringing in the distance, just below my palms that was stretched out. It says "incoming call Luv" ...excitement breaks from within...unto my lips as I leaped to my feet...being waiting for this call all day...my love to whom my heart belongs .as i slam the green button and saying "Hello dear" as a usually would..
    Well it never would have changed any thing if I did not pick that call...But how could I not. I have known Amanda for about 13 months now and we have dated for 12.young and pink relationship just sent from is to was by the woman I love and still love...My heart still grieves, every time the thoughts crosses my mind...as I flip through pictures of that faithful evening 10:14pm.i can still feel the rain drops on my jacket and face as i across the road to the other side of love street. “Am breaking up with you“was the first thing she said.

   

You know how u wake up in the morning and just imagined that the day never dawned....that’s exactly what I did not feel this morning....knotting my tie while making a very hot beverage...  feeling like a superman jugging everything in a space of three minutes..Really got me thinking about how Jane does it...but I like my job...at least I can’t complain. Does she like her job?!...
    She works two jobs, at least the ones I know and occasionally babysits some baby somewhere in the east side of nowhere.....not my business...what I know is that she does it seamlessly without every crossing the 10 minutes grace at the firm...looking at my time its sharp on the hour and am getting late again for the third day running....something seemed not to be adding up correctly. How can I do this better...just so much to do ,dropping the coffee cup, grabbing my car keys and leaving the house in reckless abandon, bed still not laid.
    Still got to work 15 minutes late, but had the excuse of mad traffic at the market place...what do I care!..Here I am at the end of another day writing a story of my typical day...that most likely will happen tomorrow with may be a slight difference on the type of beverage I make...but really who care…All that matters is that I get to work.
    Though I earn more than Jane...a feeling of guilt and an equivocal disclaimer leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth...Discipline really counts...the dictionary meaning has plenty words yet still vague ...I think it kinda mean I should cut down on, all the things that make me human...I have to try it out all the same so that one day I do not wakeup & find myself jobless, because I push my luck too far and it died.